I spent some of my day taking down holiday adornments at a local care facility. I remember how carefully and beautifully the Activities Director did everything. She spent many a late night getting everything ready. It was wonderful and the comments from residents, family and friends continued throughout the season. But it took two of us roughly 4 or 5 hours to undo every beautiful thing she had done. Things were taken down, arranged for easy access next year and packed in a crate. One swoop through and it was all over. It was almost as though it never happened in the first place. But pictures and people's memories were too strong for that.
It reminds me how sin can swoop through a life and make it seem as though everything that went before didn't matter. It's not true but a person's reputation, lifelong reputation, can be destroyed with one scandal. A sin can wipe out any of the good works that truly may have been done through the Lord's Spirit. It can ruin a testimony and cast doubt on the Lord. I've been sharing with the Lord how much I desire to bring Him glory. He's been sharing with me my past and present failures. Not to beat me up but to encourage me to repent because He loves me.
It's a hard process for sure. Not one anybody really wants to go through. But is is the pathway to holiness and that's God's goal for us this year and until we see Him again. So while it's hard, I continue on baby step after baby step. Setting my face like flint even for a brief moment but willing to keep turning toward Him countless times throughout the day. It would be much easier if I could just hold my face toward Him for a longer period but prayerfully that will happen in time. Until then I take my little baby steps, turn my face repeatedly and trust Him to take away my mourning over sin and give me joy. I solicit your prayers as I fight.